Anonymous
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Trench Bores, Torture Chambers Evil Warlords and Windows Mobile
Sep 29 2008, 2:16 AM EDT
Sunset on a beautiful beach, chilled cocktail in hand, relaxed on a banana lounge ready to devour that enticing romantic novel. That’s what life was like after getting organised and being successful. Then I bought a Windows Mobile powered phone. I am now a bondage addict in a dungeon of doom. Every hour the torture master tightens my shackles and delivers a new Microsoft bug.
I miss appointments. I miss phone calls. I miss emails. I loose contact details. I loose speed dials. I loose shortcuts. I loose “to do” tasks. I have regressed. I was organised, I was on time, I always answered the phone, I always replied to emails, I got things done. Now, I spend my days trying to unravel myself from the latest Microsoft shackles of doom. But that’s OK, pain is good. Like a bondage addict, the only way to stay sane is take pleasure in the pain.
Firstly, Active sync will not synchronise. It is designed to frustrate, tease, entice and enthral. It is not designed to synchronise. “Oh, you want to synchronise” says the torture master in an all powerful threatening tone. Like female version of “Smith” from the Matrix, she presents a pump action shot gun, from which every conceivable ActiveSync bug is released in quick succession. I am pummelled with the error codes – 85010014, 80070008, 85010017, 0x85002000, 0x85002002, 0x80072f07, 0x80072f08, 0x80072f09, 0x80072f0a, 0x80072f0b. There is no English explanation – just more error codes. Say “OK” she screams. With each error code, I am present with a dialog window in which the only response accepted is “OK”. At the same time she expects me to decode and reverse engineer her compiled software. She knows it’s futile. Show knows it’s an unachievable. She knows I won’t be able to locate the source of the problem. She know it and she loves it. “Synchronising is easy” the brochure said. Just say “OK” and be afraid, very afraid.
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Anonymous
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RE: Trench Bores, Torture Chambers Evil Warlords and Windows Mobile
Sep 29 2008, 2:17 AM EDT
But alas, my Wireless LAN works - as long as I do not want to use my phone, calendar, tasks and contacts at the same time. Microsoft has released the evil warlord called “Maxi-Milian the Memory Leak” on mobile Wireless LAN. This war-lord is a ruthless leader of a dominant evil memory sucking empire. No resistance allowed. Don’t believe me? Just run wireless LAN on Windows Mobile fore 30 minutes. You no longer control your phone. All the memory has gone. You can’t even start the calculator! Your phone is reduced to a dithering piece of silicon foaming at the mouth. It is suffering from the plight and overthrow by Maxi-Milian. Of course, this is a design feature. Microsoft Wireless LAN actually stands for – “Microsoft - Why I Really Enjoy Low Efficiency Super Stressful (Wireless) Long Awaited Nothingness (LAN)”.
Just when you though there was nothing left to screw up, then there was Microsoft’s implementation of a phone. You say “well, at least I bought a phone”. Enter the trench bore. The trench bore grinds your self-confidence into pillars of sluggish mud. Trench bores are unisex satirical gimps. When they say “go”, they mean “stop”. When they say “swim” they mean “sink”. When they say “live” they mean “die”. When they say “Microsoft Windows Mobile - Smart Phone” they mean “Wait a million years for one key press - dumb phone”.
Still thinking of buy a Window Mobile “powered” Smart-Phone? You sadist. See you at the bondage brothel.
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Anonymous
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RE: Trench Bores, Torture Chambers Evil Warlords and Windows Mobile
Dec 1 2008, 10:35 AM EST
"But alas, my Wireless LAN works - as long as I do not want to use my phone, calendar, tasks and contacts at the same time. Microsoft has released the evil warlord called “Maxi-Milian the Memory Leak” on mobile Wireless LAN. This war-lord is a ruthless leader of a dominant evil memory sucking empire. No resistance allowed. Don’t believe me? Just run wireless LAN on Windows Mobile fore 30 minutes. You no longer control your phone. All the memory has gone. You can’t even start the calculator! Your phone is reduced to a dithering piece of silicon foaming at the mouth. It is suffering from the plight and overthrow by Maxi-Milian. Of course, this is a design feature. Microsoft Wireless LAN actually stands for – “Microsoft - Why I Really Enjoy Low Efficiency Super Stressful (Wireless) Long Awaited Nothingness (LAN)”.
Just when you though there was nothing left to screw up, then there was Microsoft’s implementation of a phone. You say “well, at least I bought a phone”. Enter the trench bore. The trench bore grinds your self-confidence into pillars of sluggish mud. Trench bores are unisex satirical gimps. When they say “go”, they mean “stop”. When they say “swim” they mean “sink”. When they say “live” they mean “die”. When they say “Microsoft Windows Mobile - Smart Phone” they mean “Wait a million years for one key press - dumb phone”.
Still thinking of buy a Window Mobile “powered” Smart-Phone? You sadist. See you at the bondage brothel.
"
Perfect description of life with Windows Mobile! Argggggghhhh....
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